It's not the INS that makes me run for the border.

Dear Taco Bell,
Thank you for the double decker taco. Thank you to the big fat stoner that invented it. Thank you to the racial stereotyping advertising agency that thought of the now defunct talking chihuahua and the "run for the border" slogan. Thank you to the marketing executives that made up the Big Bell Value Menu. Thank you to the 19 year old Mexican kid that stayed up all night to make sure that the drive though is open 24 hours. Thank you to the minimum wage "cook" that assembled my chicken soft taco from pre-made ingredients. Thank you for bastardizing an entire culture's eating habits for my culinary delight. Thank you for selling a huge plastic cup full of soda with every combo. Thank you for making said huge plastic cup fit in most cup holders. But most importantly, thank you for taking my wildest sexual fantasies and turning them into the caramel apple empanada.

Until my arteries fully clog and my bowels collapse,
Marc